Mar 30, 2021Member-onlyThe Last VacationWe found out about the ban on incoming flights from Europe twenty-four hours after we landed. While acclimating to our new surroundings, a barista at the little cafe on our street broke the news. She explained that three Italian tourists had passed through the city the night before on their…Pineapple 20214 min read
Published in Human Parts·Mar 10, 2021Member-onlyI’ve Been CanceledA satire — “I’ve been canceled,” I announce to my Twitter followers the morning after the incident. My mentions light up immediately, the notification counter unable to keep pace with the condolences, likes, and retweets rushing in. While the comments start out as an unadulterated stream of sympathy for the ordeal I’ve just…Cancel Culture6 min read
Published in Marker·Feb 24, 2021Member-onlyEvening Gown Shopping at the End of the WorldWith extreme indulgence shopping comes extreme financial risk — Some people have food, and others turn to Netflix, but my comfort binge of choice has always been online shopping. The thrill of the hunt, that electric frisson of discovery, the flop sweat that appears between “Add to cart” and “Thank you for your purchase!” for fear the item’s been…Pineapple 20214 min read
Published in GEN·Dec 22, 2020Member-onlyThe Year Everyone Got HornyLeave it to months of social isolation to bring out peoples’ kinkier sides online — Though it feels like light-years ago, last January gave us the debut of Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candle, an electrifying hug between Brad Pitt and Jen Aniston, and an eerily portentous dating show called Love Is Blind. So with a lusty start like that, it should come as no surprise that…Social Media5 min read
Published in Heated·Jun 12, 2020Member-onlySeal’s Signature Baked Potato RecipeThe ‘Kiss From a Rose’ singer explains how to make his go-to quarantine snack — About a month ago, I FaceTimed with Seal for two hours for a New York Times profile. We had a wide-ranging conversation that ran the gamut from his social media habits to his thoughts on the pandemic. But one thing that didn’t make the final cut…Seal2 min read
Published in An Injustice!·Mar 25, 2020Member-onlyNot Well, Bitch: How the Real Housewives Helped Me Learn to Cope With DepressionThese reality show franchises gave me permission to celebrate all of the most difficult aspects of myself — As I began my sophomore year of college, the combo platter of anxiety and depression I’d been quietly coping with for months suddenly spiraled out of control. Time slowed to a painful drip. The school, ill-equipped to deal with my abrupt mental shift, sent me home to New Hampshire to…Mental Health8 min read
Published in GEN·Mar 13, 2020Member-onlyHow I Rationalize Spending Hundreds of Dollars on Woo-Woo BullshitIt’s more than Wellness™ or self-care. It’s about taking control. — I generally consider myself a rational human being. My friends will tell you I’m a natural-born realist with a caustic sense of humor. Add to that a career in journalism where I’ve been trained to approach everything with a healthy dose of skepticism and you’d think I’d be thoroughly immune…Lifestyle4 min read
Published in An Injustice!·Feb 3, 2020Member-onlyEvery Bad Thing Dolce & Gabbana Has DoneThe brand has a long history of racist, sexist, and homophobic behavior — Accountability has never been the fashion industry’s strong suit. It decries photographers like Mario Testino and Bruce Webber as sexual predators one day, and hires them to shoot celebrity portraits and magazine spreads the next. …Fashion9 min read
Published in Blank Page·Jan 10, 2020Member-onlyWhy I Quit My Full-Time Writing Job over a Viral TweetTL;DR: I quit my relatively cushy, full-time reporter job at the New York Post after one of my tweets went very viral with no backup plan and no real professional prospects. But the full-length version of how I came to that decision is something slightly more complicated. Something much more…Entrepreneurship6 min read
