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Emily Kirkpatrick
Emily Kirkpatrick is a writer for hire currently covering all things Vanities at Vanity Fair.
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Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

The law of fashion cyclicality guarantees that sooner or later every generation will be forced to reckon with some of the worst trends from their teenage years suddenly becoming cool again. For many millennials, that time is now and that existential sartorial threat is the return of the low rise jean.

Along with the return of other 90s and early-aughts favorites like flood pants, tiny sunglasses, and chokers, Gen Z has also ushered in the revival of this divisively low-slung trouser. A style that to my 30-something-year-old brain belongs exclusively on the bodies of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Keira…


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Photo by Jocelyn Morales on Unsplash

My former roommate and I had a running joke that we both suffer from a mysterious ailment best described as “bland palette syndrome.” While some people’s tongues are trained to distinguish the infinite nuances of perfectly-aged wine or single-origin coffee beans, ours can’t seem to differentiate between a 10-course Michelin-star dinner and the rice and beans we had for lunch yesterday. That’s not to say we can’t appreciate the subtle melange of a well-spiced dish or that we’ve never ventured outside of our culinary comfort zones. It’s just that when it comes down to our own daily meal prep, both…


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Photo by Taylor Simpson on Unsplash

Some people have food, some have Netflix, others have relationships, but my comfort binge of choice has always been online shopping. The thrill of the hunt, that electric frisson of discovery, the flop sweat that transpires between “Add To Cart” and “Thank You For Your Purchase!” for fear the item’s been stolen out from under you during that moment’s hesitation, followed by the sweet relief of knowing it’s already on it’s way.

With the arrival of the pandemic, however, my comfort zone of cyber splurging has gone from a pleasure to a chore. This online “me” time has now become…


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Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

A funny thing about the 1% jumping to the front of every COVID vaccine line is that they’ve actually been inoculated from the pandemic this whole time thanks to their wealth.

While the rest of us have been sheltering-in-place and keeping our distance from friends and loved ones, those with the means are still going about their lives as usual, hopping aboard their private jets for a vacation overseas, eating out at their favorite Michelin-star restaurants, and throwing lavish parties for 50 or so of their closest pals. …


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Photo by Ben Kolde on Unsplash

In January of 2020, after quitting my job in a rather spectacular, public fashion, I began in earnest to pivot my career from full-time corporate blogger to freelance writer extraordinaire with very little experience or practical know-how.

And then, a pandemic hit.

I had already started out the year in an existential freefall, dead sure I wouldn’t be able to make ends meet, was destined to become an industry-wide laughing stock, and would probably never work again. So you’d think the world suddenly screeching to a halt and websites freezing their freelance budgets entirely would have thrown me into a…


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Photo by roya ann miller on Unsplash

One of the many problems with being rich — well, problem for the rest of us that is — is that the world is their oyster. Or so they believe.

We all know that money opens doors, but it seems what that colloquialism is actually trying to tell us is that a certain set of finances will bestow you with the entitlement to simply waltz past every sign warning you to STAY OUT. Or in the case of one well-to-do gentleman in today’s round-up, land a plane on Prince William’s private airstrip. The bigger the bank account the less the…


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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Welcome to a highlight reel of the best of the worst behavior from the wealthy, famous, and absurdly privileged. This week: Presidential pardons, TikTok hype houses, and cat-murdering Teslas.

Dallas Area Realtor Jenna Ryan Would Like Her Presidential Pardon Now

After taking a private jet to D.C. to participate in the January 6 Capitol riots that left five dead, Jenna Ryan is now patiently awaiting her pardon from lame-duck president Donald Trump. After sharing numerous photos, live streams, and videos of herself storming the Capitol Building and posing next to vandalized government property, the Dallas area realtor and life coach turned herself in to authorities on Friday where she was…


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Courtesy of Normal People/Hulu; Bridgerton/Netflix

Even a year ago, the idea of thousands of women lusting online after a spoon or a simple, silver necklace would have seemed like a concept straight out of a Black Mirror episode reject pile. But today, that libido-driven conversation is not only dominating social media, but seems likely to be a harbinger of even more fetishized on-screen objects to come.

Since the show first came out on Christmas Day, my Twitter feed has been flooded with opinions about the Jane Austen-meets-Gossip Girl bodice-ripper known as Bridgerton. And while an impassioned discussion surrounding the series is pretty impossible to avoid…


Leave it to months of social isolation to bring out peoples’ kinkier sides online

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Photo: Igor Ustynskyy/Getty Images

Though it feels like light-years ago, last January gave us the debut of Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candle, an electrifying hug between Brad Pitt and Jen Aniston, and an eerily portentous dating show called Love Is Blind. So with a lusty start like that, it should come as no surprise that 2020 has turned out to be one of the internet’s horniest years on record.

When the term “horny on main’’ first became a fixture of internet meme culture circa 2016, it was considered to be an embarrassing and pathetic quality bestowed upon those unable to keep their chaste public and…


Humans 101

It’s become pop-psych shorthand for our entire personalities

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Photo: Everton Vila/Unsplash

I’ve belonged to my fair share of Facebook self-help groups over the years, and while the people in them are as diverse as the topics they’re looking for guidance on, I have noticed one constant. When it comes to relationship advice, the first response is almost invariably: “What’s your attachment style?”

It feels as though the simple psychological rubric of attachment theory has become a kind of interpersonal catchall—a shorthand for people’s entire personalities and outlook on life, erasing individual nuance in favor of a more palatable stereotype. But while attachment has become a powerful tool wielded by armchair therapists…

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