“I’ve been canceled,” I announce to my Twitter followers the morning after the incident. My mentions light up immediately, the notification counter unable to keep pace with the condolences, likes, and retweets rushing in. While the comments start out as an unadulterated stream of sympathy for the ordeal I’ve just endured, the tone quickly shifts after a couple of hours to queries of next moves, potential Notes app apologies (over my dead body), and where to direct all the rage fermenting in the replies.

I assure my loyal fans — the meager several million I have left — that they…

The law of fashion cyclicality guarantees that sooner or later every generation will be forced to reckon with some of the worst trends from their teenage years suddenly becoming cool again. For many millennials, that time is now and that existential sartorial threat is the return of the low rise jean.

Along with the return of other 90s and early-aughts favorites like flood pants, tiny sunglasses, and chokers, Gen Z has also ushered in the revival of this divisively low-slung trouser. A style that to my 30-something-year-old brain belongs exclusively on the bodies of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Keira…

My former roommate and I had a running joke that we both suffer from a mysterious ailment best described as “bland palette syndrome.” While some people’s tongues are trained to distinguish the infinite nuances of perfectly-aged wine or single-origin coffee beans, ours can’t seem to differentiate between a 10-course Michelin-star dinner and the rice and beans we had for lunch yesterday. That’s not to say we can’t appreciate the subtle melange of a well-spiced dish or that we’ve never ventured outside of our culinary comfort zones. It’s just that when it comes down to our own daily meal prep, both…

Some people have food, and others turn to Netflix, but my comfort binge of choice has always been online shopping. The thrill of the hunt, that electric frisson of discovery, the flop sweat that appears between “Add to cart” and “Thank you for your purchase!” for fear the item’s been stolen out from under you during that moment’s hesitation, followed by the sweet relief of knowing it’s already on its way.

With the arrival of the pandemic, however, my comfort zone of cyber splurging has lost its luster as a reliable pleasure-seeking activity and become a downright chore. This online…

A funny thing about the 1% jumping to the front of every COVID vaccine line is that they’ve actually been inoculated from the pandemic this whole time thanks to their wealth.

While the rest of us have been sheltering-in-place and keeping our distance from friends and loved ones, those with the means are still going about their lives as usual, hopping aboard their private jets for a vacation overseas, eating out at their favorite Michelin-star restaurants, and throwing lavish parties for 50 or so of their closest pals. …

In January of 2020, after quitting my job in a rather spectacular, public fashion, I began in earnest to pivot my career from full-time corporate blogger to freelance writer extraordinaire with very little experience or practical know-how.

And then, a pandemic hit.

I had already started out the year in an existential freefall, dead sure I wouldn’t be able to make ends meet, was destined to become an industry-wide laughing stock, and would probably never work again. So you’d think the world suddenly screeching to a halt and websites freezing their freelance budgets entirely would have thrown me into a…

One of the many problems with being rich — well, problem for the rest of us that is — is that the world is their oyster. Or so they believe.

We all know that money opens doors, but it seems what that colloquialism is actually trying to tell us is that a certain set of finances will bestow you with the entitlement to simply waltz past every sign warning you to STAY OUT. Or in the case of one well-to-do gentleman in today’s round-up, land a plane on Prince William’s private airstrip. The bigger the bank account the less the…